There’s a powerful shift happening in leadership.
Where we once rewarded control, clarity, and sticking to the script, the modern world demands something very different: presence, responsiveness, and a deep trust in what wants to happen.
In our latest masterclass inside The Modern Leader, we explored a game-changing mindset and skillset for today’s complexity: Follow what’s emerging, not planned.
This is not about abandoning structure. It’s about loosening your grip so that you can lead from presence instead of performance. It’s about becoming a leader who can sense what truly matters—and guide others there, in real time.
Let’s dive into why this matters and how you can build the agility to lead this way.
According to McKinsey, 70% of transformations fail because leaders are unable to adapt in real time. Deloitte ranks adaptability among the top three leadership capabilities for the next decade. And Harvard Business Review found that leaders who pause and respond with awareness consistently outperform those who push forward reactively.
In a world that doesn’t follow the rules, leadership must become more human, more attuned, and more emergent.
And there is no better place to practice this than in meetings.
Meetings are where culture is shaped. They are where energy is either sparked or lost. And they are where your ability to lead what matters most is constantly being tested.
To support this shift, we introduce the leaders we work with to nine practical tools to help them lead with agility across three dimensions:
Yourself
The group
The topic
Let’s walk through each one, not just as a technique, but as a mindset you can embody.
Part 1: Leading Yourself – The Facilitator Compass
"You are your greatest tool."
The most powerful thing you bring into any meeting is your awareness. This trio of tools helps you stay grounded before, during, and after any session. We call it the Facilitator Compass.
Tool #1: Prepare with Intention (Before the Meeting)
Before every session, ask yourself:
A. How do I want to show up?
B. What do I want to bring?
C. What do I want to leave behind?
These aren’t fluffy prompts. They’re real-time orientation tools. Leaders who reflect—even for just two minutes—are better able to stay present when things go sideways.
You can also add as part of your preparation:
D. What might knock me off center?
E. How will I recover?
To all of the above, add the following by supporting yourself physically: sit back in your chair, ground your feet, expand your view. These practices help you show up in any meeting from a place of presence, not performance.
Tool #2: Stay Attuned (During the Meeting)
As the meeting unfolds, your body is your instrument.
A. Are you leaning in too hard?
B. Are you tightening or collapsing?
These signals are your early warnings that you’re drifting from presence.
Anchor yourself with powerful questions like:
C. What’s trying to happen here?
D. What does this room really need right now?
Jot them at the top of your notebook. Let them keep you centered.
This isn’t about judgment. It’s about tuning your instrument. After each session celebrate the moments where your presence made a difference—and use what you notice to prepare better for the next one.
The Facilitator Compass isn’t a checklist. It’s a rhythm. A daily leadership habit that sharpens your awareness as your most trusted ally.
Part 2: Leading the Group – Creating Safety, Listening for Truth
"Your job isn’t to control the group. It’s to hold space for what wants to happen."
Working with people means working with complexity, emotion, and the unexpected. These three tools help you become a steward of what matters most in group dynamics.
Tool 4: Suspend Judgment, Soften Into Curiosity
In any group, judgment blocks emergence.
Instead of jumping to conclusions, silently say to yourself:
"I don’t know fully what they mean yet."
Ask:
"What might be behind what they’re saying?"
"What feels important that hasn’t been named?"
Use language like:
"Say more about that."
"What’s underneath that for you?"
When you do this, you not only model deeper listening—you help others soften too. That’s how groups begin to hear what’s really being said.
Tool 5: Use the I / We / It Lens
This framework helps you notice what a group actually needs:
I = What’s happening inside the individuals
We = What’s happening in the group energy
It = How on track are we with the task or topic being discussed
Most meetings over-focus on the "It", missing the relational "We" and emotional "I" dynamics that truly shape progress.
Start noticing:
Is this person avoiding something important?
Is the group disconnected?
Are we still talking about the right topic?
Simple questions like:
"What’s the vibe in the room?"
"What are we not saying that matters?"
can unlock powerful shifts.
Tool 6: Handle Disruptions with MEAO
When someone derails a meeting, your instinct may be to shut it down. But that costs you trust. Instead, use this tool MEAO:
Mirror what you heard
Explore to understand more
Acknowledge their perspective
Offer your view or redirect
Used well, this tool transforms defensiveness into dialogue and invites participation instead of silence.
"When people feel heard, they stop fighting to be understood."
Part 3: Leading the Topic – Letting the Right Conversation Emerge
"The opposite of control isn’t chaos. It’s trust."
These last three tools help you guide the actual conversation—without being overly attached to your plan.
Tool 7: Contract the Agenda Live
Start every meeting with:
"Here’s our plan. Does this still feel right?"
"Is there anything else we need to talk about today?"
This gives others a stake in shaping the conversation. When the agenda becomes a living document, people engage more deeply.
Tool 8: Pause and Scan for Process
Sometimes you follow the agenda perfectly… and the meeting still flops. Why?
Because content and process weren’t aligned. Try these prompts to surface the elephant in the room you are sensing:
“We talking about X, but why does the room feel heavy to me right now?”
”Is there tension that no one is naming?”
Learn to pause and ask:
"I’m sensing something’s off—should we surface it?"
"Is there something we’re not talking about that matters more right now?"
When you name what others are sensing, you earn their trust—and their focus.
Tool 9: Use Silence to Invite Depth
Silence isn’t awkward. It’s essential. So often we jump in way too fast to avoid the assumed awkwardness that will come from holding silence instead.
Try this: After asking a powerful question, count to five.
Let it land.
In a group conversation where the pace is typically fast, consider using a "talking stick" method where only the person holding the object can speak. This creates slowness, respect, and space for truth to emerge in between comments.
Profound silence accelerates insight. But only when you can hold it.
So, What Kind of Leader Do You Want to Be?
Rigid or responsive? Predictable or present? Controlling or trusted?
These nine tools aren’t theory. They’re practices.
They help you:
Tune your presence
Work with group dynamics
Follow the right conversation in real time
Because what your team needs most isn’t more plans. It’s your ability to notice, name, and lead what matters now.
And that is what creates world-class performance.
"Emergent leadership isn’t about abandoning direction. It’s about finding the truest direction, in real time."
This session is part of our monthly mastery series inside The Modern Leader. Each month, we work through a core skill with real-world tools, a 30-day challenge, and the shared support to turn awareness into action.
If you want to deepen your leadership agility and become someone worth following — this is the place.
DM me to learn more or drop a comment if you want the workbook.